Apartment Living - That Smell in the Hallway
That Smell in the Hallway!
If you have ever lived in an apartment or other group setting you know exactly what I mean. Why is it that when we are hungry and are cooking food it smells so good and we only get hungrier? But when it's someone Else's cooking that is stinking up the place we want to call the Natural Disaster Response Team and be life flighted out of there?
I have lived in apartments for many years now and enjoy having gardeners, maids, repairmen, pool attendants and security guards at my beck and call 24 hours a day. However, I've never been able to tolerate the person on the floor who's cooking makes your eyes water. There is one in EVERY building. Hopefully, it's not you in your place. More importantly, I hope it was never me!
For years I have referred to these individuals collectively as "Mrs. Manzetti". I will ask, sometimes rhetorically, "What the *$!# is Mrs. Manzetti cooking now"? Honestly, I understand diversity and the concept that one man's junk (or foodstuff) is another man's treasure, but come on. Some stuff shouldn't be internationally recognized as food!
Here are some of my least favorite dishes that Mrs. Manzetti makes. Keep in mind that I am identifying and naming these culinary delights by the smell that they produce:
*Clorox Chicken
*Bar B Que'd Horse hair
*Eye Melter (I have no idea what this is but my eyes feel like they are melting out of my head)
I suspect that this involves toxic waste
* Meth Lab Leftovers (once again, no idea but smells like chemicals and burning pasta)
*Peanut Butter Tuna
*Hot and Spicy Cheese cake
*Then, of course, there is always the bubbled over food in the oven, burnt smell
*There are many, many more....
What the hell?!?! Seriously! I can only assume that curry is involved in the Eye Melter but I have no idea what is happening in the kitchens responsible for the other smells. It's like Rosie the robot maid has gone haywire and short circuited. Can't these people open a window or turn on a kitchen fan? And trying to cover up the smell by spraying cleaning products is like covering up skunk by burning a bad of popcorn in the microwave. That's another one come to think of it....but we've all burned popcorn, right?...forgiven.
If you have a Mrs. Manzetti where you live or have other smells to add to my list, post a comment and I will make sure to feature them in the blog. Go ahead, get something published in a blog without having to actually write one. If you ARE a Mrs. Manzetti, please consider eating out, asking Santa for a cookbook or giving a "courtesy flush" of your kitchen by opening opening the window and keeping the front door shut (preferably with duct tape around the edges). Thanks Mrs. Manzetti!!!
Allan
